Life in West Africa: My story.

A short memoir.

A little back story . . .

My husband and I met back in August 2020 during those rough COVID months. On our first date, he very openly and honestly shared that that he would only be living in the U.S. for a short while longer as he was soon moving to West Africa. Not thinking too much into it, I continued to date him because what were the chances that some random California boy with tattoos riding his skateboard to our first date would become my husband. Well… he got me. And, somehow I was convinced to join him on this crazy, two-year experience.

I had traveled to multiple countries in Asia, Europe, and Central America, but my only experience on the African continent was a ten-day girls trip to Morocco. The thought left me a bit apprehensive, but I knew my husband was keen on the adventure. My parents, on the other hand, took some convincing…. I grew up in Staten Island with a close-knit Italian family who I would see religiously every two to three weeks, whether it be for dinners, holidays, or just a quick hello. How was their little baby (aka a grown-ass 30 year old woman) going to leave New York and live in a place they had never even heard of? They thought I had gone crazy. And to be honest, it wasn’t just them… 75% of people I told thought I was insane. And hey, reasonably so.. maybe it was a bit crazy. I had some of my own fears moving somewhere unknown, but I was determined to see it through and give it a real shot!

The West African Sahel region is facing numerous crises, all at once. Throughout the months leading up to the big move, I was constantly googling news sources to keep pace with current events of the region. And frankly, I read almost exclusively bad things. I needed seven vaccines, a visa, multiple suitcases filled with food and products I knew I wouldn’t be able to find there, and plenty more summer attire. I worked things out with my boss to take six months of leave without pay from my cardiac surgery PA job in Manhattan. And now, almost six months into this journey, I’m ready to share with you how life has been.

Most Common Questions

Since I made the decision to follow my husband and move to West Africa, people constantly ask me some of the funniest questions. And, I can’t lie. Before I got here, I wondered some of these myself. My favorite ones were:

Ohhhh, South Africa! How cool! ………… No. Not South Africa.

Do guys live in a hut? ………… No. We live in a house with electricity, running water, a pool, and air conditioning in every room.

Do you have any friends? Are there other wives there? ………… Yes. We have met many expats who we spend almost every weekend with.

Are there supermarkets? ………… Yes. But, definitely no ShopRite or CVS around here.

What do you do all day? ………… Workout. Play soccer. Cook new recipes. Study French. Plenty of quality time with hubs.

Do you feel safe? ………… Yes, although I don’t travel many places alone (especially at night).

Can you watch TV? Do you have wifi? …………Yes. We stream our favorite shows using YoutubeTV, AppleTV, Netflix, and Hulu.

My Experience

So, where to begin? Life in Africa… has definitely been an adjustment.

THE LANGUAGE

Bonjour.. Ca va? Oui, Ca va bien. Merci beacoup!

Living in a Francophone region, one of the first things I was immediately intimidated by and overwhelmed with was the language barrier. French is common, but indigenous languages are the primary method of interaction for most. It took some time to pick up the basics of French, but I’m slowly getting there. I’ve been consistently taking classes three times a week, but not practicing when I get home…. none of us are perfect!

THE LUXURIES

Despite some of the hardships, being able to afford a full-time housekeeper and gardener has been one of the biggest highlights of living here. Writing this sounds ridiculous, but I’m definitely not looking forward to being back in the U.S. and having to scrub my toilets and do my laundry every three or four days. A huge benefit of being surrounded by local staff at our home has given us new, long-term friendships. They’re great people to guide us through the local culture and help us practice our awful French.

And because life is not always easy here… for example, you can’t just wake up, pick up Starbucks and head to your favorite workout class – when it is time for vacation, we have not held back. We’ve had the ability to plan once-in-a-lifetime trips to basically anywhere in the world we want! Our first time away, we visited Kenya & Tanzania on a five day / six night safari, flew to picturesque beaches of Seychelles for one week, and finished in the luxurious city of Dubai for three nights. We’re currently planning to visit Greece, Turkey, and Portugal this year. Next year, we have aspirations for South Africa, Namibia, Egypt, and Morocco.

DRIVING

Driving here is on a whole different level. Most main roads are paved, but most side streets are dirt. Main roads do not contain road markings and traffic lights are uncommon. It is most definitely a free-for-all. People travel around via mopeds and motorbikes. I’ve seen women riding with a baby slung on their back and men carrying some of the craziest objects, all of whom are not wearing helmets. I’ve had to put my New York fast-foot on hold and drive much more slowly and cautiously.

FOOD, SHOPPING & RESTAURANTS

You will find grocery stores that cater to Westerners, typically styled in a somewhat European fashion. Most items are noticeably more expensive due to import fees and taxes. Certain items, such as cheese, sour cream, and bread, are hit or miss. What we’ve come to learn is that if you see it for the first time and like it, buy it in bulk, because you might not see it for a few months again.

Most fruits and vegetables are bought off street vendors. You’ll also find women walking through the streets attempting to sell you things like lemons and bananas through your car window. These foods always need to be extensively washed and bleached prior to eating to prevent foodborne illnesses. But they’re fresh and cheap, and we can’t get enough!

Most restaurant menus are made up of chicken and beef dishes, french fries, pizza and pasta. If you’re looking for variety, you can find many French-style restaurants and a handful of Chinese, Indian, Lebanese, Turkish and Italian restaurants.

WHAT TO DO

One of the toughest things about living in West Africa is the limit on our social life. Westerners typically do not travel outside major cities, and therefore, a place that was once welcoming nature-lovers on safaris is now almost non-existent to tourism.

Most of our weekends are exclusively spent with each other at home or with our expat friends. Almost all homes here have a pools with entertainment areas where we have parties and get-togethers for one another. For nightlife, you will find bars that attract a mix of locals and westerners with DJs, dancing, bottle service and hookah.

You definitely won’t find any shopping malls with big name brands like we’re used to in America. Below are photos from one nearby artisanal market where you can buy local art, jewelry, baskets and other handmade crafts.

LESSONS LEARNED

If there is one takeaway from this entire experience, it’s that I’m much more thankful and appreciative for what I have. We complain so much about small things in life and forget to look at the bigger picture. My Amazon Prime package arrived the day after it was supposed to… it is okay. At least I have Amazon Prime. I wasn’t able to buy a pair of shoes.. it’s okay. I’m thankful for the shoes I have on my feet and the 10-20 other pairs I have in my closet.

The neighborhood children light up the streets with their infectious smiles. Some of these kids don’t have running water or electricity and own only a few articles of clothing. I’m not even sure they have the opportunity to go to school. But, every single time I leave my home and the garage door opens, I know I can always expect a giant smile and wave to brighten day.

It truly puts things into perspective. Enjoy your life and be happy with what you have!